Monday, October 29, 2012

A Clown and Cheesy Man Crush

It’s only noon and already I feel like I’ve been up for hours. 

Keeping in the Halloween spirit, I’m sort of leaving off from my previous post. About 10 years ago, life change unexpectedly. It’s not something I planned, but looking back on Halloween Night 2002, life took its course and I was never the same. 

I didn't join the Marines, I dressed up as a creepy S&M Clown. The image pictured here is a photo from that fateful Halloween Night. I don’t recall where the idea came from, but what I most remember is waiting in line at Trader Joes on 3rd and La Brea and realizing that everyone around me refused to look at me standing in front of them. It’s like they didn’t want to acknowledge the reality of it all. Why? I wondered. And though I have always questioned human behavior, that moment has stayed fresh in my mind. Were they afraid of seeing something within themselves? Possibly, a darkness? A reflection of something unknown or too close to home? 

A few days later after having the photos developed, even I found myself a little disturbing. Thankfully, something great came from it and I have since done my self portraits as a clown. Any red circle/ ball is me. I even wear a necklace of this red ball around my neck to remind me that it's OK to be different. It's OK to embrace our darkness. 

After a few days of not feeling 100%, I’m feeling a whole lot better. And since I haven’t had a TV for the past couple of months, I spent my down time watching ‘stuff’ online. I'm all caught up with CBS's hit show Hawaii Five O. I have to admit that I have a big cheesy man crush on Alex O’Loughlin. It’s not his masculine energy, his beautiful body or his tattoos that I’m attracted to. It’s his eyes that I’m drawn to. I think they’re beautiful! It’s someone’s eyes that draw me to him or her. They reveal everything.It's where I find connection. 

I wonder what my own eyes reveal? Are the windows to my soul clear? I hope so. 

Tonight, enjoy our most beautiful moon. Oh and P.S. I’m having my first ever astrology reading. I’m curious, excited, and even a little nervous.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Disguising Myself

It’s only a few days until Hallow’s Eve; it has to be one of my favorite nights of the year. With the exception of maybe one year, for the past 20+ years I’ve been dressing up in some sort of eye-catching attire. This year will be no less; I’m thinking the circus meets a fashionista-a-la-Gaultier. Unfortunately, I’m feeling a little under the (hot LA) weather, but come Wednesday evening, I’m hoping to be 100%! 

Back in 1997 before moving away to NYC from SF, I had dinner with my best friend Roberto and his boyfriend Julio. I showed up wearing polyester hot shorts and my red, white, and blue 70’s motorcycle leather jacket. He looked at me and said, “I’m going to miss you bitch!” He was referring to our Friday nights of dressing up and living it up. Looking back, it took a lot of ‘huevos’ to show up to dinner dressed as I was. Ah, good times. Great times! 

A few months later I went to my first Susanne Bartsch Halloween party. Just a few weeks prior, with a line down the street, I showed up to one of her weekly events, and though I had never met him before, Kenny Kenny allowed me to walk right in. I felt like a movie star. 

The image pictured here is a photograph of Ms. Bartsch and myself at her ’97 Halloween party. Now that I think of it, I wonder about who took this photo and how it came into my hands. It’s interesting to see the photographer in the background along with the faces in the frame. I must have had a camera with me and asked a stranger to snap it. 

While walking past Ms. Bartsch, she turned around, looked at me and said, “Amazing!” It was the biggest compliment ever! My uber gay sailor was pure genius! Unfortunately aside from my ‘Pussyboy’ sailor hat, the bottom half was the best part (and not visible in any photos from that evening.) The outfit was a real sailor uniform that I restructured myself. I had the button flap pulled down revealing a stars and stripes g-string; it was sexy as hell. I love that I had the balls to walk around the city dressed so provocatively. 

And as for disguises, in one way or another, we all wear masks throughout the year. Some of these masks provide with protection, some of them allow us to fit in. While some of them hide us, some reveal who we are. But, interestingly enough, the real self is revealed through our words and our actions. 

And as for little words of wisdom, Oscar Wilde said it beautifully, ““What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise” 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Sweet LITTLE Revenge

Happy Tuesday Late Afternoon. 

I’m writing a day late due to a little revenge. Not the real kind, but the ABC hit show by the same name. On Saturday afternoon after a little reading of Leigh Bowery’s biography by his best friend, Sue Tilley, and a stroll through the Brewery Art Walk, I came home and surprisingly got hooked on Revenge. I just couldn’t stop watching. 

I often wondered what it’d be like to not have a TV. It’s now been a few months since being TV free; Netflix has been a pleasant substitution. Funny how I’m now watching a TV show online. Maybe it some sweet little revenge. Interestingly enough life has felt better without TV interruption. 

In Revenge, Emily’s father tells her, “Go with your gut; intuition has your best interest at heart.” For as long as I can recall, I’ve lived my life by this principle. Without a doubt, it’s been my guide. I can’t imagine living my life any differently. Every decision I’ve made has come from listening to this little voice. I often wonder why any of us debate over making decisions (big or small) when answers are always in front of us. As for revenge, it’s just not in my nature; no good can come from it. I can’t imagine revenge, in any case, being in anyone’s best interest. Love, on the other hand, serves us all; it’s got everything to do with it. 

The piece here is titled, “Tina.” Tina Turner inspires it. In “What’s Love Got To Do With It,” Angela Basset’s character fights back. Though her standing up to Ike was not about revenge, as it was standing up for herself, her courage to move onward is truly remarkable. It’s a testament to her strength, will, and overall sense of beauty, grace, and agility. 

Follow your guts! “There can be as much value in the blink of an eye as in months of rational analysis. - Malcolm Gladwell. 

In the blink of an eye life changes, magic happens. I believe this 100%! (blink, blink). 

Friday, October 19, 2012

DAMN Today

Good Morning World. 

“Damn, you’re the best thing I’ve seen today.” That’s exactly what the older black woman said to me as I walked by her car this past Monday afternoon. It made me smile, but then I thought, well it’s an older black lady and secondly, she said ‘today.’ Ha! Why couldn't she have left out today? I wondered what had she’d seen days before. 

Today, I’m taking a day off from work and I’m not sure what to do with myself? Just this morning, I received an email from Plastic God about purchasing a Divine piece from him. I’ve become a big fan of his work. I already own a Frida and Keith Haring piece. I’d also like to get Leigh Bowery and Freddie Mercury and possibly Dali and Warhol. 

The piece here is titled, “Warhol.” Thanks to him, Lichtenstein, Mama, and my own imagination, I started this new digital series. It’s been an interesting journey. 

In Coming to America,(which I rewatched earlier this week), Eddie Murphy’s character says, “No journey is too great when one finds what he sees.” 

Luckily, I’ve been able to find beauty and to see beauty; I see life everywhere. Thank you old lady for seeing beauty in me. 

What will you find, what will you see? Today is a NEW day. 

Monday, October 15, 2012

Welcome Back Kitty

Ah it’s my favorite day of the week, Monday! 

Welcome back. This past Thursday night, I returned home from Puerto Rico. We had another great siblings vacation. I’m already looking forward to next year; where will we end up? 

My return home has already been great. On Friday night, Christine treated me to see The Book of Mormons at The Pantages. We had an early dinner at Delancey, which we both loved. And yesterday, thinking of her, I saw the One Night Only Hello Kitty Art Show at Known Gallery on Fairfax. I found out the night before and so I didn’t have time to plan ahead. I know she would have loved it; she’s a little Hello Kitty obsessed. 

We like to joke about it being ‘age’ inappropriate, but then again who made those rules about what is and isn’t appropriate. I’d prefer to live life according to my own set of childlike standards. At this point in life, who needs more rules? 

The piece here is titled “Kitty.” I created it this morning. Christine and yesterdays art exhibit inspires it. It was an experience seeing the show; hundreds of people showed. Luckily I was able to get a book to add to my growing Art Book Collection. 

Have a beautiful week ahead and remember to “Welcome the task that makes you go beyond yourself”- Frank McGee 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Dreams of Wigging Out

For the past 3 months life felt like I was wigging out; I could've checked myself into an institution. But for the past almost 2 weeks, life is looking up. 

Later tonight, I’m heading to Puerto Rico with my siblings and in laws for a belated birthday in honor of my amazing little sister Blanca. It’s beautiful to have siblings and in laws like I do. We have times to remember. 

This past Tuesday, in preparation for Mr. Blacks Masquerade Ball, I re-watched Wigstock: The Movie. It’s been a little over 10 years ago since I was lucky enough to be at the taping of the movie in both Tompkins Square Park and at the Christopher Street Piers. it was truly a gay and happy Extravaganza! I’ll never forget it. The list of performers was unbelievable: Lady Bunny, Leigh Bowery, Debbie Harry, Joey Arias, RuPaul, Mistress Formika, Lypsinka, Dee Lite, Crystal Waters, Ultra Nate, Candis Cayne. The list goes on and on. During RuPaul’s performance, I have a mille second appearance when the camera scans the crowd. (I look so serious and mean). It’s not my 15 minutes of fame, but the memories of joy are priceless.

The piece here is titled, “The Lady Bunny.” It’s from my LITTLE series. Sometime in 1991ish, I first saw the Lady Bunny in San Francisco when Gus Bean threw an amazing party at the Palladium. I had VIP passes and everything. And speaking of SF, a few years later when Wigstock traveled west, I even came oh-so-close to performing with Mona Foot as Wonder Woman. I was soooooo nervous. It happened last minute; a dancer had not shown up and I was wearing the right attire, leather pants and a black tank top. At the time, thankfully, the dancer showed up, but now looking back, I wish he hadn’t. 

In 1992, a year prior to the filming, I told my boyfriend, there’s a drag queen that sang this song called ‘Supermodel.’ I think she’s going to be huge. A year later, RuPaul said, “I had a dream and I never faltered.” Because if God has bigger dreams for us how can we falter. 

Today’s post is dedicated to my siblings, my in laws, and to all the drag queens who have made my life colorful. You all inspire me to dream!