Monday, December 31, 2012

Campbells Soup and Bottle Service

Uh-oh! I woke this morning not feeling too well. I’m just getting back from a short walk and getting a couple of cans of Campbell soup. It’s my favorite thing to eat when I’m not @100%. It looks like I’ll be spending New Years Eve all alone and calling it an early night. But it’s all good. There’s a difference between being alone and feeling alone. With God's given imagination and all the love in my life, I couldn’t possible feel alone. I’m actually looking forward to a quiet day at home in my pajamas. 

As I reflect back on this year, though I went through the most challenging time in my life, I remain grateful. Luckily after 4months, it passed and the world didn’t end. We’re still here! 

I’m grateful for the memories of being with my family. I will cherish the times we spent in Tulum Mexico and Puerto Rico. I’m grateful for my friends whom have enlightened my life; I’m grateful for their understanding, compassion, and support. I’m grateful inspiration, that after all these years, I’m still being provided with new ideas. I’m grateful for my dreams, each night I go to sleep, I’m inspired, entertained, and even given guidance. 

Last night, I finally finished watching both seasons of MTV’s show Teen Wolf. The boys are beautiful. Surprisingly, they quoted Winston Churchill, “When going though hell, keep going.” I loved this. Through those tough months of what seemed like hell, I kept going, and I survived. I kept walking, reading, writing, drawing, and believing that greatness would come. Surprisingly while going through it, I started my latest series, LITTLE Pop. It’s changed my world. It’s like I get to see the world through color again. The piece here is titled ‘Campbells.’ Warhol inspires it. 

At work I like to tell Digby that I made my reservations in hell and that I made sure to get ‘bottle service’ VIP of course! It makes me laugh. Tonight, I won’t be celebrating or drinking, but I’ll look forward to an early morning walk tomorrow. An early morning walk on New Years Day is amazing; it’s like I get the city to myself. As the New Year approaches, I’m filled with a great sense of curiosity. 

Cheers to you all, to LIFE! I wish each one of you in this world, peace in your hearts and joy in your eyes.

Friday, December 28, 2012

It's Like LIFE!

Ah yes, it’s Friday! Honestly, it feels like it was just the Friday before. 

It’s weird to think that the New Year is just a few days away. My sense of time is off, but I can’t complain. It’s a beautiful day! 

The piece here is simply titled "Red." It's my second photo from my “LITTLE Solo” photo series. On the first day of taking my first photo I came across a few other red cups. Since taking that first photo, I haven’t taken another. As I’ve walked around LA, keeping my eyes open for these red cups, they aren’t anywhere to be found. Today again, I came home empty handed. It’s like the more I look, the more I won’t see them. I realize that searching for them is useless. It’s like life. Life doesn’t happen while looking for it; life happens when we are in it, completely surrendered. It’s the law of non-resistance. Rilke said it perfectly, ““May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children.” 

And since I’ve decided to stay home and do some housecleaning, I’m going to think of it as playtime. After a little breakfast I’m going to play some Melody Gardot on Pandora and start rocking. Where do I begin? Kitchen... definitely the kitchen. 

Have a beautiful weekend! 

Monday, December 24, 2012


Ah yes, it’s finally XMAS Eve. I’m loving the drizzly day. 

After a little work, I’m driving up to Ontario to spend time with the family. After almost 45 years, I still love it and none of us have ever missed it. 

In honor of XMAS and of a little something red, the piece featured here is titled “Red 12.” It’s my very first piece from my photo series, “LTTTLE Solo.” I’ve been anxiously waiting to do it. And thankfully to my coworkers/friends I’m finally able to pursue it. They gave me a digital camera for XMAS! I’ll always think about them when I see this piece. (Thank you Digby, Annatte, Sam, and Sadiero). 

A few months ago my old camera gave out, but the idea started while vacationing with my siblings in Tulum, Mexico. My little sister Blanca started singing Toby Keith’s song, “Red Solo Cup.’ Somehow the lyrics stuck in my head and when I returned to LA, it seemed like this red cups were everywhere. Because I walk so much in LA, I’d come across them in the strangest of places. I wondered not only about whom left them behind, but about what they were drinking. Where did they come from and why/how they came to be discarded. Most interestingly, I usually see them lying around solo as if they never belonged to anyone.

In some strange way, I see myself every time I see them. Not because I’ve been discarded, but because I realize that there’s more to meet the eyes than what we see. I often wonder what others see about me; there’s a story behind me, behind all each one of us. If we look behind what our eyes see, we can see each other. We see a connection and not just a single one of us. We are not solo; we are together. 

“Red solo cup, I fill you up 
Let's have a party, let's have a party.” 

Merry XMAS. Cheers and Blessings on this Holiday Season. 

Monday, December 17, 2012


I’m back! I took a little week holiday break from writing. Last Monday, I woke up with not a clue about what to write so I decided that after almost 3 years of writing consistently, I’d take a break. 

I’m also just getting back from my morning walk. While out and about, I picked up this weeks LA Weekly and to my surprise I found an article about local LA multimedia artist Aaron Axelrod. And though I wasn’t familiar with his work, the article intrigued me. I came home and immediately logged onto Axelrod’s website. His “Freedom From The Press” pastel drawings are amazing! I loved that as a young kid, his parents supported his creativity. How special is that. 

I also learned of something new, a psychedelic brew called Ayahuasca, which he experimented with. Axel says, “That opened my mind to everything. It kind of took away my ego.” And taught him that life is all about new experiences and being happy. I now want to try it myself. Umm, where can I find some? 

Many years ago, my brother once asked me about what I felt about having experimented with drugs. I told him that I thought it killed some brain cells and kept me from overanalyzing everything. The piece here is a portrait of my brother; it’s titled ‘Johnny.’ 

Picasso once said, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” This quote started off the article about Axelrod; it’s what got me reading. Personally, I’ve always felt like an artist. Thankfully, I have kept it up the older I grow. And the older I grow, the more childlike I see we remain. 

May you find the artist in yourself; may you grow up to be whom you imagine. May you imagine everything possible. 


Saturday, December 8, 2012

Hitler Barbie and The Gerber Baby

So what do Hitler, Barbie, and the Gerber Baby have in common? They were all part of my LITTLE Pop Art Show on Thursday night. They were the last 3 portraits I completed. After thinking I was all done, I realized that these 3 iconic figures were meant to be part of my beloved exhibit. It’s interesting that, regardless of how we come to view them icons come in all different shapes and figures. They shaped and shape our world. 

Installing the exhibit was somewhat amusing. At first glance it may seem that the portraits were randomly placed, but upon closer inspection one will notice a well thought out pattern. Hitler, for example, hangs right next to the Dalai Lama and Mandela. Above him is Jesus. Not only is he amongst great men, but he also looks gay. Right below him is Leigh Bowery himself, as he had done a ‘patch’ portrait of Hitler from leftover pieces given to him by Lucian Freud. 

Overall, it looks beautifully put together. And even though I’m grateful for the opportunity to display my work at Flgiht001, unfortunately, it isn’t at a respected gallery or place that would give me recognition. But in writing this I also understand the importance of letting go and of continuing my work. 

As I move onward, I realize that there are a countless many other iconic figures like Michael Jackson, Mother Theresa, Shakespeare, Snoopy, Lady Gaga, The Mona Lisa, and Gandhi just to name a few. I’m curious as to how many more of these I will add to the series, as I already have a new series in mind. I’ll trust in God and imagination. 

The piece here is my portrait of Hitler. Surprisingly it’s my favorite piece from the show. As I mentioned in my last post about Leigh being a ‘beautified monster’, the Hitler piece is my ultimate portrait of a now ‘beautified’ monster. 

Anthony Hopkins once said, “I am able to play monsters well. I understand monsters. I understand madmen.” I believe there is compassion in his words. We all have our own monsters to bear. What we see ugly in another is part of who we are. With a little compassion comes freedom. 

Let freedom ring and monsters live. 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but monsters will never hurt me.

Monday, December 3, 2012

War Sex and Art

Last night I dreamt about being attacked by giant 10-foot chickens/roosters. 

This dream was followed by yet another more interesting dream. I was deployed to 1940’s Nazi Germany. When our helicopter landed safely, everyone got off, but myself; I was taken to another secret location. We landed at a ritzy Nazi occupied hotel. I was left alone without instructions or any personal belongings. Once the helicopter parted, I was escorted, by the concierge, to the pool area where Nazi onlookers stood shocked in seeing me in USA uniform. Because I was without belongings, I dived into the pool fully clothed. A Nazi Commander carrying a loaded rifle followed me in. The rifle like a sharks fin remained above water. I woke up. 

I woke up thinking about whether or not I should do a LITTLE Pop portrait of Hitler? Good or bad, there aren’t many bigger icons than him. He changed the face of our world. As the morning unfolded, I realized I must. I will begin work on it shortly. I already have a vision in mind. 

This morning while riding the stationary bicycle at the gym, I started reading Tom of Finland’s biography. Only 28 pages in and man-o-man it’s already intriguing. There’s talk of uniforms, World War II and anonymous sex. In regards to World War II and its blackouts, Tom’s biographer F. Valentine Hooven III writes, “All over Europe during this period, the bizarrely quiet war turned cities…into sexual playgrounds.” Reading these details felt like Europe during war had become one giant sex club for men in uniforms. 

I love the synchronicity of life, my dreams (of cocks and war) and this biography. Deepak Chopra writes, “Synchronicity is choreographed by a great, pervasive intelligence that lies at the heart of nature, and is manifest in each of us through what we call the soul.” 

After 2+ years of not having sex, is it possible that my ‘soul’ and I need to get laid? A-ha! 

Since I won’t be revealing my Hitler piece until after my show this Thursday, here’s a Hitler piece I did from my LITTLE People series. It’s titled, “Imagine Peace.” A yes, it all sounds so good.

Saturday, December 1, 2012


Good Morning. Where has it gone already? 

I’m just getting back from a little workout at the gym. In the corner of the gym floor, I found a copy of New York magazine. On the cover was a portrait of President Obama by artists Craig Redman and Karl Maier. I felt a little sadness seeing it. I picked it up and brought it home. Though I was unfamiliar with their work, the portrait looked like one of my latest digital pieces. I wondered if I would ever end up in any magazine cover or if I’d get recognition before dying? 

Aside from eating, I’m spending the rest of my day finishing up touches for my art show on Thursday at Flight001. The show is a tribute to Leigh Bowery. After a few months, I just finished his autobiography. Surprisingly he was buried in the nude. And this past week, I re-watched his documentary; surprisingly for only the second time ever. In it he’s referred to as a clown and a beautified monster. I loved this phrase; I can relate to it. 

MY LITTLE Pop series is in a sense a beautification process. In the end the question remains whether these icons retain their visibility or are they transformed into ‘beautiful monsters?” Or maybe even as Les Child said about Leigh, "someone beyond definition." I’d like to think that like Leigh, they can be all three. 

The piece featured here is my own portrait of President Obama. It a set of six images that show a sort of step by step progess of the eventual final image. Will it and I, one day get recognition? What do I have to do without losing site of who I am? Presient Obama once said, ““If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress.” 

I guess I’ll keep walking, walking and walking. And as for the copy of New York Magazine, I'm keeping it as a reminder that recognition is on its way. 

Happy Weekend! 

Monday, November 26, 2012

Meditations on INVISIBLE Art

A few weeks ago I started an online meditation challenge with Deepak Chopra. It’s been an interesting experience. Because I started a day late and missed one day, I’m two days behind; otherwise I would have finished up today. On Wednesday once I’m done, I’m going to continue on my own and see how it goes. 
Though I sit quietly for 15 minutes, on the inside my mind is usually racing, especially today. I kept thinking about my art show next Thursday. I’ve got lots to do today. But it’s work I like doing. So far, it’s looking beautiful. I’m excited and curious! 

The piece here is a snapshot of the work I’m doing today in getting ready. My apartment is a mess, a good mess. 

In thinking about this upcoming Art Show, I realize that I’ve been living as an artist for the past 15 years. And yet after all this time, I still feel a great sense of invisibility. Because I haven’t had the recognition or success I would like, I question whether or not my work really matters. But as I continue onward, I know that this feeling of invisibility will pass and it will not discourage me from doing the work that I most love. Being an artist is who I am and will always be. No matter what! 

“Let's just say that I think any person who aspires, presumes, or feels the calling to be an artist has a built-in sense of duty.” – Patti Smith 

The beautiful thing about this meditation challenge is that I have done so without expectation. I haven’t done it to be a better man nor to have a better life. I’ve meditated because it feels like the good thing to do. Slowly, this feeling of invisibility fades away and connections feel possible. 

May everything in your life be filled with a great sense of possibility. 

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Unorthodox Miracles!

What a beautiful sunny Saturday in LA. I love this city! 

As I was walking to work early Wednesday morning and thinking about gratitude, the first thing that came to mind was my beloved city and this area called Miracle Mile. I’ve lived in this neighborhood for the past 15 years. I love everything about it, especially the name. It feels good here; it’s my home. 

Throughout life, I’ve been very blessed. The list of people and things to be grateful for is endless. In referring to his unorthodox life of drinking, taking drugs, and smoking, dancer Michael Clark was quoted as saying, “If I hadn’t lived that life I wouldn’t have felt so inspired. It was living that made me want to dance.” In coming across these words, I got teary eyed. I felt the same way about my art. For over 25 years, I’ve loved every minute of going out to the clubs here in LA, NYC, and SF. I’ve met an amazing amount of people who have inspired me and altered my way of seeing our world. It takes great courage to share and explore ones ideas and uniqueness. When I’m feeling down, I like to remember the endliss list of memories and people I’ve come across while ‘partying’ it up. It's been a MIRACLE. 

The piece here is titled “Raja.” Rupauls Drag Race winner inspires it. When I first moved back to LA, Raja was one of the first drag queens I came to admire. I first saw him perform at OZ in Buena Park. I have some fond memories of those drunken days. In recent years, I’ve been lucky enough to hang out with Raja. He’s a great talent and a beautiful human being. 

Boris Yeltsin once said, “It is especially important to encourage unorthodox thinking when the situation is critical: At such moments every new word and fresh thought is more precious than gold. Indeed, people must not be deprived of the right to think their own thoughts.” His words are beautifully and poetically said. I wonder if Mr. Yeltsin had the opportunity to meet drag queens of his own? I think he would have appreciated their courage. 

As for this weekend, I’m laying low. I love a good quiet Saturday. 

Monday, November 19, 2012

IMPURE Thoughts

Hola Monday! 

A few weeks ago while on my way to The Getty to see the Robert Mapplethorpe exhibit with one of my favorite people in the world, Christine, I told her about my grade school confessions at St. Marrianes. In knowing I had to go to confession, I found myself filled with anxiety not because of the ‘bad’ things I had done, but because I was good kid and didn’t really feel the need to confess anything. But how could I possibly sit amongst my classmates and not walk into the dreaded confessional. 

What would I tell the priest? Even in confession I lied. I had to come up with some things to tell him. The most often used things were that I lied and had impure thoughts. As I told Christine this, I wondered about what sorts of impure thoughts could an 11 year old possibly have? 

Was me thinking about boys naked impure? Was me hating my dad for making me work so hard impure? I think this normal rather than impure. Who’s to determine the impurity of a thought? Isn’t it subjective? One online dictionary defines impure as “not pure or clean, contaminated. Immoral or sinful. Unclean. Rather than confession, it sounds more like I needed a good laundry detergent. Or even a good spanking. 

Interestingly enough, I had my last confession around 13 years of age. If anything, these so called impure thoughts happened around this same time once I started masturbating! I can only imagine telling the priest about whacking off 10 times a day and possibly even thinking about him naked while on the other side of the veiled wall. 

The piece here is titled, “Mary.” I wonder what sort of impure thoughts she had. Is writing and thinking this impure? If so, at least I know that penance often came with a simple string of Hail Mary’s and possibly one Our Father. Not too shabby for impurity. 

As for thoughts, like waves they come and go; they are what they are. But then again, Buddha once said, “What we think, we become.” If this is the case, I’m one dirty son of a bitch! Pardon the language, the impurity. Let me see what else I can think of… 

Peace and blessings and Happy Thanksgiving! 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

A LITTLE PoP of Lies and Generosity

Ah yes it’s F-day. Or at least it was; I was supposed to have posted this yesterday. 

In just about 3 weeks on December 6th, I’ll be debuting my latest series of digital photographs at Flight001. It’s all happening during the annual 3rd Street XMAS party from 9-6PM. 

The series is called LITTLE PoP. And aside from the obvious inspirations of Warhol and Lichtenstein, my mother and Leigh Bowery inspire this series. What a combo! Who would have thought that two very different people could somehow inspire the same person, me. 

I’m halfway done reading Leigh Bowery’s biography by his best friend Sue Tilley. It’s interesting to note that he loved telling lies and yet was very generous with his friends. After reading about how he liked to embarrass and almost humiliate others, I found this to be refreshing. In referencing one of his ‘looks’, he said, “This new look is a cross between polka dots and skin rash…simulating infection and disease.” In my LITTLE PoP series, I’ve loved applying this concept to some of the icons of our times. It’s interesting that regardless of alterations, icons remain visible to the eyes. It’s like the perfect are imperfect. Do we hold them to a higher standard? 

The piece here is the flyer for this show. It’s titled, “Marilyn.” There aren’t many bigger icons of our time. She is the epitome of what we consider iconic. One online dictionary defines the word icon as “a sign or representation that stands for its object by virtue of a resemblance or analogy to it.” Are we breaking the 2nd Commandment in holding anyone to an iconic status? I wonder? Or is this whole idea of breaking commandments a ‘con.’ If I con, will you con? 

I’ll leave it at that for now. 

Monday, November 12, 2012

Catchin Kubrick

Hello Monday! This past Saturday I walked over to LACMA to see their latest exhibit: Stanley Kubrick. To my surprise, I loved it. Though I’m familiar with his movie titles, I’ve only seen three of them. (Clockwork Orange, The Shining, and Eyes Wide Shut) Surprisingly, I have not seen Lolita, Full Metal Jacket, and not even 2001 Space Odyssey. I have some catching up to do. Tomorrow at LACMA is “Target FREE Tuesday. It’s FREE! 

In doing some research, I found this quote by Mr. Kubrick himself, “However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.” I loved coming across these beautiful words; they’re a reminder that light is within us all. That regardless of our challenges, we’re able to move forward and shine brightly. 

While at LACMA, I also saw the works of Ed Ruscha and Robert Mapplethorpe’s once controversial XYZ Portfolio. 20 years ago, I was lucky enough to have seen these images at The Berkeley Art Museum. Finally, I walked through Ken Price Sculpture: A Retrospective. The sculptures were amazing! After seeing banners all over our LA streets, I was hesitant about seeing the exhibit. But as I did my walk through, closely examining each piece, I wanted to pick one up and bring it home. The shapes and colors were beautiful. Never before, had I been taken by sculptures. 

The piece here is titled, “Innocence.” For a few months now, I’ve had this idea to do a sculpture series called “LITTLE Jars.” There’s something about placing something in a jar that inspires. I’ll be working with toys to convey ideas of emotion and meaning. I’ll see how it develops. I’m curious. Today especially, my brain feels a bit overwhelmed with ideas and creativity. I can’t complain. 

On this Veterans Day, a special thank you to all the Vets and their families who allow us the opportunity to live in this beautiful and abundant country. 

Peace Out, Peace In.

Friday, November 9, 2012

There's A Man In My Mirror

Happy Friday. I love this chilly fall weather. 

On election Tuesday, I had a little Obama fever. More than anything, I believe he cares about our country. 

Today I’m continuing from my previous post. I’ve never been a big fan of Michael Jackson. But of all his songs, ‘Man In The Mirror’ is my favorite. “If you wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself and then make a change…” 

One day in my early 20’s, I remember dancing around in my underwear in my apartment in Pacific Heights and feeling the words to this song; I felt alive! Like everything and anything was possible. It remains a dear memory. And though I look back at this time of my life as a good time and place, I’m a different man today. It’s not the wrinkles, the extra pounds, nor the aching bones that make me different. It’s that I’ve evolved and opened myself to seeing life constantly from a different perspective. It’s a shift in perspective that allows us to grow and evolve. 

The piece here is titled, “Bowie Set.” David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust inspires it. It's a 4 step process leading to the final image. Maybe even Bowie was onto something with his song ‘Changes.’ “Ah, changes are takin' the pace I'm goin' through.” 

Right now, I see change happening for myself. It feels good. As a verb, an online dictionary defines the word change as “to become different, to become altered or modified, to become transformed.” I especially like this last word- transformation. Its sound like a process rather than an immediate moment. Though life is changing at every blink of an eye, real change happens over time. 

I want to make and leave this world a better place. I’ll start by looking in the mirror. And as Greek philosopher Nikos Kazantzakis wrote, “Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.” 

Have a beautiful weekend. SEE Differently. LIVE Differently. 

Monday, November 5, 2012

OBAMA 4 President!!!

After not posting over the weekend, here I am today on my favorite day of the week. It’s a beautiful sunny day in LA. While on my morning walk I sent in my ballot and cast my vote for Obama. Tomorrow’s a big day! 

As Americans, we’re fortunate enough to have the right to vote; a liberty not granted to everyone in our world. It boggles then why not everyone single one of us would choose not to vote. If over time everyone voted, I believe that our country and world would be a greater place. There’s no excuse not to vote. It’s not about one vote making a difference; it’s about using our voices to affect change today and tomorrow. As Lincoln said, “America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.” 

The piece here is titled, “Obama.” When choosing a president it can be a simple as thinking from our heart and asking a simple question, “Who would I want, as parents, to raise me?” 

While on my walk this morning, a man driving by blasted Michael Jackson’s “Man In the Mirror.” “I’m going to make a change for once in my life.” To be continued… 

Monday, October 29, 2012

A Clown and Cheesy Man Crush

It’s only noon and already I feel like I’ve been up for hours. 

Keeping in the Halloween spirit, I’m sort of leaving off from my previous post. About 10 years ago, life change unexpectedly. It’s not something I planned, but looking back on Halloween Night 2002, life took its course and I was never the same. 

I didn't join the Marines, I dressed up as a creepy S&M Clown. The image pictured here is a photo from that fateful Halloween Night. I don’t recall where the idea came from, but what I most remember is waiting in line at Trader Joes on 3rd and La Brea and realizing that everyone around me refused to look at me standing in front of them. It’s like they didn’t want to acknowledge the reality of it all. Why? I wondered. And though I have always questioned human behavior, that moment has stayed fresh in my mind. Were they afraid of seeing something within themselves? Possibly, a darkness? A reflection of something unknown or too close to home? 

A few days later after having the photos developed, even I found myself a little disturbing. Thankfully, something great came from it and I have since done my self portraits as a clown. Any red circle/ ball is me. I even wear a necklace of this red ball around my neck to remind me that it's OK to be different. It's OK to embrace our darkness. 

After a few days of not feeling 100%, I’m feeling a whole lot better. And since I haven’t had a TV for the past couple of months, I spent my down time watching ‘stuff’ online. I'm all caught up with CBS's hit show Hawaii Five O. I have to admit that I have a big cheesy man crush on Alex O’Loughlin. It’s not his masculine energy, his beautiful body or his tattoos that I’m attracted to. It’s his eyes that I’m drawn to. I think they’re beautiful! It’s someone’s eyes that draw me to him or her. They reveal everything.It's where I find connection. 

I wonder what my own eyes reveal? Are the windows to my soul clear? I hope so. 

Tonight, enjoy our most beautiful moon. Oh and P.S. I’m having my first ever astrology reading. I’m curious, excited, and even a little nervous.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Disguising Myself

It’s only a few days until Hallow’s Eve; it has to be one of my favorite nights of the year. With the exception of maybe one year, for the past 20+ years I’ve been dressing up in some sort of eye-catching attire. This year will be no less; I’m thinking the circus meets a fashionista-a-la-Gaultier. Unfortunately, I’m feeling a little under the (hot LA) weather, but come Wednesday evening, I’m hoping to be 100%! 

Back in 1997 before moving away to NYC from SF, I had dinner with my best friend Roberto and his boyfriend Julio. I showed up wearing polyester hot shorts and my red, white, and blue 70’s motorcycle leather jacket. He looked at me and said, “I’m going to miss you bitch!” He was referring to our Friday nights of dressing up and living it up. Looking back, it took a lot of ‘huevos’ to show up to dinner dressed as I was. Ah, good times. Great times! 

A few months later I went to my first Susanne Bartsch Halloween party. Just a few weeks prior, with a line down the street, I showed up to one of her weekly events, and though I had never met him before, Kenny Kenny allowed me to walk right in. I felt like a movie star. 

The image pictured here is a photograph of Ms. Bartsch and myself at her ’97 Halloween party. Now that I think of it, I wonder about who took this photo and how it came into my hands. It’s interesting to see the photographer in the background along with the faces in the frame. I must have had a camera with me and asked a stranger to snap it. 

While walking past Ms. Bartsch, she turned around, looked at me and said, “Amazing!” It was the biggest compliment ever! My uber gay sailor was pure genius! Unfortunately aside from my ‘Pussyboy’ sailor hat, the bottom half was the best part (and not visible in any photos from that evening.) The outfit was a real sailor uniform that I restructured myself. I had the button flap pulled down revealing a stars and stripes g-string; it was sexy as hell. I love that I had the balls to walk around the city dressed so provocatively. 

And as for disguises, in one way or another, we all wear masks throughout the year. Some of these masks provide with protection, some of them allow us to fit in. While some of them hide us, some reveal who we are. But, interestingly enough, the real self is revealed through our words and our actions. 

And as for little words of wisdom, Oscar Wilde said it beautifully, ““What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise” 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Sweet LITTLE Revenge

Happy Tuesday Late Afternoon. 

I’m writing a day late due to a little revenge. Not the real kind, but the ABC hit show by the same name. On Saturday afternoon after a little reading of Leigh Bowery’s biography by his best friend, Sue Tilley, and a stroll through the Brewery Art Walk, I came home and surprisingly got hooked on Revenge. I just couldn’t stop watching. 

I often wondered what it’d be like to not have a TV. It’s now been a few months since being TV free; Netflix has been a pleasant substitution. Funny how I’m now watching a TV show online. Maybe it some sweet little revenge. Interestingly enough life has felt better without TV interruption. 

In Revenge, Emily’s father tells her, “Go with your gut; intuition has your best interest at heart.” For as long as I can recall, I’ve lived my life by this principle. Without a doubt, it’s been my guide. I can’t imagine living my life any differently. Every decision I’ve made has come from listening to this little voice. I often wonder why any of us debate over making decisions (big or small) when answers are always in front of us. As for revenge, it’s just not in my nature; no good can come from it. I can’t imagine revenge, in any case, being in anyone’s best interest. Love, on the other hand, serves us all; it’s got everything to do with it. 

The piece here is titled, “Tina.” Tina Turner inspires it. In “What’s Love Got To Do With It,” Angela Basset’s character fights back. Though her standing up to Ike was not about revenge, as it was standing up for herself, her courage to move onward is truly remarkable. It’s a testament to her strength, will, and overall sense of beauty, grace, and agility. 

Follow your guts! “There can be as much value in the blink of an eye as in months of rational analysis. - Malcolm Gladwell. 

In the blink of an eye life changes, magic happens. I believe this 100%! (blink, blink).